by JuJuan Buford
You know what? I don't know. I'm not and don't pretend to be an expert on happy, martitable (is that a word?) relationships. Unfortunately, I can testify more to not what to do, then how African American men and women can get it together.
The divorce rates. The numbers of men and women who have forsaken marriage or long term relationships altogether.... There's no need to review the stats. They are depressing, and depressing and merlot don't go well together.
So why even bother reflecting on this topic? A mature lady with some of the most alluring lips and hips, a stride that no doubt induces men to trip over the crack on the sidewalk, and a way about her that demanded immediate respect shared a piece of her mind with me today. She was very married, and painfully coquettish. CEO of her office and junior partner of her household. Those were her words.
Sista shared that men and women today don't know how to empathize, compromise... don't know how to shut the F up, stop trying to win, and just love on each other. As she shared her perspective a brother passed by straight up booming some of the most vitriolic, misogynist isshttt I've heard in a while. Honestly. I thought to myself you f-ing hater... the magic dissipated... long gone. The frown on her face spoke a million words.
As I drove to my next destination, I listened to the songs (the same lame ass songs) on the radio and thought to myself... dag even our music reinforces this nonsense. I couldn't help but to reflect on Fantasia. Yes, Fantasia. I mean Jill Scott's "He Loves Me" will forever be my favorite love ballad of all time. I mean I don't typically take an interest in Sista's 200 and over... but Jilly from Philly? That song? Rules can be broken after listening to that track.
Still the following lyrics capture something for me. The homage to HipHop and love just resonates right for me.
Cant see me
Without you by my side
So many reasons why
I'm your girl and your my guy
Your all i need
All i need to get by
Like method man and mary blige
You don't have to wonder why.
Fantasia Barrino - "Only One U"
I tell you what I do know. If you have a winner, don't take it for granted. It's a cold world out here. And don't believe the bullishhtt. You let too many get away, and you might be dealing with runaway loves for the rest of your life. And if you don't know what a runaway love is, check a poet out on a Tuesday night at Kuumba's Cove, and MoBettaBluez will break it down for yah.
