Real Talk

Nothing left but photographs

Hard to move on when you regret one.

Trying to do the right thang, for you,

But

What
Happens when you're exhausted, cut off
From the the sun that reifies and the
Voice that edifies?

Now perhaps long gone, left to face it.
Face you.

And you can't replace it. Can you.
Can you?

Distractions they are, vicatin loves,
Then you awake, and deep down,
All you want, desire, is what you
Chose to lose.

Nothing left but photographs.

JuJuan Buford

shan moore

by J.S. Buford

there is something, i need to share with you.
you were a problem from the start.

and tonight you don't have to
worry bout getting the truth from me,
truthfully.

you deserve this.

becuz though you are far from perfect,
you are exceptionally beautiful in
every way that really counts.

you've never had to get cute for me,
your're natural -ly magnificent.
and the way you carry on has always
been so appealing to me.

just the right blend of intellectualsexual.
we read books. take walks. at times
i kinda hang out behind you so i can see
what's behind you. and you never
disappoint.

it's so cool when we just be.
we chat, we laugh, we wine,
we dine, we walk, we run,
we stare at each other, we tease,
we drive, we dance,
we pull things off, we put things
up, we sleep real hard, we just be,
for real.

such a perfect blend of feminity,
and wassup.
vibrant and funny,
fine and smart.
whether chillin in a hotel room
overlooking the pool,
or posted on the couch, watchin
wanda sykes, its always a pleasure to
be with you.

supportive and positive,
challenging and inquisitive.
get muddy, but never dirty,
you're true - ly kindhearted.

you shine.

you deserve this.
it had been time.

you're beautiful.

let go

by j.s. buford

they linger.

you immerse yourself in the future,
things are cool, fantastic, phenomenal!
even.

then a phone call. a text. you characterize
it as out the blue, random, but aint nothing
random about the memories.

the last exchange,
last sighting,
last contact,
last time, night morning afternoon
came and went, no breaks but for a
glass of water,
a moment,
to catch your breath.

you long ago let go.

you poured your all, accepted
not all is always meant to be.
no one's at fault, just is what it is,
and so much time done passed,
there is nothing left.

nope, no second guessing.
not never, possible.

you don't answer the phone.
not today, perhaps tomorrow,
or maybe never.

but aint nothing random about
the memories.

hindsight be 20/20 ah deh tem.
don et. mo gud den bad. les bad den
gud. u kno. kinda remins me uv uh
pom i writ lon lon tem ago.

you long ago let go.

life was so simpler back then. landmarks,
hallmarks, lifemarks still litter your to and from.
prescience is a funny thing. you both
knew one day it would come to this.

they smile at you.
your frenetic pace slows down a bit.
senses focused, heightened sense of awareness,
your cerebral cortex screams beware, automatic
shut down thwarted by cerebellums offset.
you're sitting still, but not really.

nothing random at all about them
memories.

let go.

Another Day

by J.S. Buford

sometimes you wanna fly way.
spread your wings and allow your distant,
past remembrances,
present day reflections,
and aspirations of what is to be,
carry you to a place free of the
trials
and
tribulations,
riding the winds of
change.

i'm not fishing for a response.
just sharing derilect thoughts,
holding me hostage at 3 o'clock in the morning.
more like recollections streaming unrequited
into my unconscious,
kicking in the door,
yelling, "i know you are about to start a new life, got new beginnings, change you're embracing, but here i am mofo, and you're gonna at least entertain me for a minute.
fuck this shit.
ok, i'm done."

remembrances tempered by runaway loves,
mcknight ballads of episodes long gone
but not forgotten, images that smirk and
even inspire a bit of mirth.
distilled promises whisper,
impregnating the air.
kisses on the forehead,
pecks on the cheek,
admiration of beautiful imperfections,
teary eyed admonishments,
unspoken goodbyes,
tears allowed to run dry.

remember what it was like
to stand in the cold?
no?
that's right, our arms
were wrapped too tight
around each other,
that's just how we got down.

swept away by time.
and soon only the residue remains.
lingering like last nights merlot.
it's best alone.

fly away.

Words From the Wise

by J.S. Buford

Never do you want to believe,
Despite the words of the wise.

Look side to side,
Take your photos,
Smile wide, and cry.

They won't be there,
When you rise.

No Guarantees

by J.S. Buford

It rains on the just and unjust alike. You can give your best, break your bones, change your religion, purge your soul... A minute too early or too late, and you miss it. A move too far to the left or to the right, and you overlook it.

You can pour your heart into someone, something, a vision, or belief, make the pursuit, bear the blame and weight with dignity in the face of pain, being under appreciated, or simply dismissed.

Life is not a Forest Gump movie.

It just may not work out the way you planned. You might not get the girl. Your endeavor may never come to fruition. You may cast your pearls, but some folks just won't ever appreciate the value.

However, if you're ever going to win. If you're ever going to know love. Know success. Know what it is to be appreciated or fulfilled, you have to try, try, and try again. Because that's life. That's living.

It's the journey that both reveals and consummates.

And when you are stripped down to your being. Pride gone. Bones broken. You just can't bleed anymore. You realize that your currency of love is no longer valued. Right when your passion for what ever it is you are driving for seems to dissipate.... Know that you are valuable, beautiful, born divine.

Keep moving.

When you arrive people will be different. Your surroundings will be different. The prism, the lens, the viewpoint will be different. Because you will be different. Focus on growth, embrace the change, accept that sometimes you have to cry before you smile. If you do so, you will be able to revel in not only the fact that you are different, but so much more improved.

And remember. Remember. God is in your pain.

midnight blue

by J.S. Buford

pulling, pushing, thrusting against the tide.
the sun kisses the horizon and the wind ushers in new breadths.
and night now enters, day slips off without a trace.

floating to and from, back and forth, familiar and peculiar waves,
begin to splash against my face.

equilibrium evades the cerebellum, disorienting currents, smash
and curdle in frustration to disrupt the pace.

calm than frenetic, feigned temperance sheaths conniptions,
they swirl violently into the space.

god's smiling on me, feeling good after long while of
climbing to this place. hands calloused, soul just bout
stripped away. but so undeniable is his grace.

but alone i fear i celebrate,
absent a tender voice or endearing caress
to massage away
the strain.

such is life. no need question why,
the sun rises east and sets west. no point fretting
over what won't change.

what a sadist belief, change is belief,
you can hear the tiny feet, of good thoughts,
good emotions, next moments pregnant feats,
but only if vision is focused on gain. appreciation
is process, future is begging to come out and peek.

it is what it is, especially what you anticipate,
hands carve out preconceived fate.

its midnight. and god is whispering.
i'm straining to listen.

so steadfastly committed,
so i brace as i embrace.

your hands

your hands

its that thing you do, predictably.
the way you, do what you do.

i'm trying to be coquetish, but some
things require straight forward recognition.

it's the way you stroke your hair
and tap your hips.
the way you peruse your stomach,
smile, pause, then swing your hips.

the rhythm of your stride have
my eyes swinging side to side.

it's predictable, even distracting,
you roll your eyes,
you're used to attention,
you've been following my eyes.

following your hands
stroking your thighs.

by J.S. Buford

Remix of Bad Habits

by J.S. Buford

from the first day i met you,
you drove me crazy, your argumentative
challenging style.

so determined to put
me in my place. complaining i never listen,
just spurred you to run your mouth even
more.

and you never stopped talking.

but tonight you're in the nude,
and oh how i'm about to be so
rude.

your lips, your legs, your thickness.

im sipping you, inebriated, so
absolutely,
addicted to the way you move.

undressing you from the time you
hit the door. you sporting tall black
heels,

lord knows tonights so overdue.

yeah, i resisted initially.
but over the course of time,
aggravation progressed to good conversation,
she's kinda cute became she's kinda fine,
i stopped ignoring you, focussed on the contents
of your mind, found myself daydreaming the day
you'd be mine.

thrust ya on top of the kitchen table,
clutching your ass,
slide you from the wall to the floor of the bedroom,
taste you between your legs.
watch your eyes turn to the ceiling,
while im pulling your hair.

i demand that you turn around.

you look with evil intentions, yet
offering no resistance,
while i stroke you,
love you,
grasp your ankles, your back
rising and fallin,
clasping my forearm tighter,
unison breathing,
pacing my in and out.
your backside,
forgive me, ima about to
get disrespectful,
delve all the way in.

feelin like i'm overdosing, cuz
noone as bad as you. got me sipping
this cup of bad intentions, heart beating
faster, resisting the urge to explode.

low down, smooth talking smartass,
ima terrible, bad habit brother,
so arrogant, so two face-tid.
pretend to be conservative,
just so good.

you wanted my attention,
bad habits hard to turn loose.

Until You

by J.S. Buford

Until You

It started innocent enough.
At the onset just harmless interludes. We
simply getting to know each other, rather
Reacquainting ourselves.

We knew each other years ago, and after so many
Years, months, and days we reconnected
As if we never left each others’ side.

Asking questions we never quite got around to, Perusing the
Periphery, querying for answers, like where we would
frequent if afforded the time, What we’d do and who’d come along.

Then graduating to intently deciphering the meaning, the
Feeling, the wonderment of what it is to be in love.
Conversations insue regarding affairs of the heart
Punctuated by long pauses, stops and starts, Surroundings
fading into the background each time Our eyes lock.

Soon brief exchanges supplanted by hourly conversations,
Innocent banter by sultry talk. The distance between us
diminishing, days becoming Accounted for.

Ruminations progress to insinuations then blossom into eventual engagement.
Caution an after thought, liberation upon us, we commence inducing glances,
A tap on the shoulder, grasp of an elbow, hands breach the expanse across the table,
Followed by an exit, plates still warm, fingers interlocking as we proceed to the next
Destination.

And quiet.

Nothing left to converse about
No more rationalized delay.
Cell phones switched to silent.
Desire inundating the space between our shadows

Whispers of I couldn’t wait, and now
I’m gonna luv you
Until
You
Remember me, until you
Dream of me, until you
Thirst for me, until you
Hunger for me.

Until the following day,
familial obligations intrude,
And we’ll never speak again.